I Guess You Win
by dif-rent-bi-choice
Summary: Reno hates the world, the world hates him... He used to be okay with this, but now it's really pissing him off... Long-ish Drabble type thing... RenoxRufus
1. Chapter 1

"You are an enigma, wrapped in a mystery, wrapped in a puzzle

"You are an enigma, wrapped in a mystery, wrapped in a puzzle. I find it quite fascinating." A smirk formed on a certain blonde president's face and I felt myself pout at the comment, even though I _really_ didn't want to. Thinking I would easily take whatever bait he may offer, ShinRa continued. "You entertain me so much more than any other I employ. Your eccentricities amuse me and you continue to make me life… interesting, to say the least, so why do you believe I would be calling you here to fire you?"

"I don't like when you say shit like that about me y'know?" I spat back, quickly becoming extremely annoyed with my superiors attitude. "But I know y'ain't gonna fire me, y'know. How do I know, you ask? 'Coz im quitting. As of about fourteen seconds from now, yo. I can not take this shit no more. This _job_, as you call it, is a fate worse than hell," And they say I can't be slightly articulate? "The pay only just keeps me outta the gutter and you…" I pointed an accusing finger. "You are the worst human I've ever met! You drive me insane and I ain't gonna sit on my ass and put up with it! Not anymore!" ShinRa's eyes widened; his bait had been taken, chewed and spat back in his prissy face.

"Reno… Your contract is valid for another three years." He said, obviously becoming slightly nervous. "That means it'll be another three years before you can even consider quitting."

"Fuck your stupid contract!" Now, that sounded like me.

"Reno… what do I have to do to make you stay? You're a valuable employee; you always work well with everyone… you always get your work done… I'd… hate to lose you to anyone else…" Who the hell was he trying to fool? He only wanted me 'cause I could cover his ass that much better than anyone else.

"It's _way_ too late for that, ShinRa. I'm the man that never was, so remove me from memory." I abruptly turned on my heel, walking to the door. Placing my hand on the doorknob, I spat a friendly "Pleasure doing business with you, ya turd-faced little shit." At my former boss and walked out, leaving said boss in an extremely confused state.


	2. Chapter 2

Elena fell from where she was sprawled across my lap and couch, and landed with a distinctive clank sound, which usually meant she was armed

Elena fell from where she was sprawled across my lap and couch, and landed with a distinctive _clank_ sound, which usually meant she was armed. Then again, I couldn't really picture her without her revolver. _Old-school guns are so much better than that new shit you guys carry. _She had said, pointing that very same revolver straight at my forehead. I felt myself laugh at the memory and was suddenly consumed by sadness, because I knew no more like that would come. But I continued to laugh.

"How the bloody hell can you be laughing?!" Elena stared at me. "You just got fired for Christ's sake!"

"Actually" I took a swig of beer, wanting to add a little suspense. Major fail, for I resumed my slightly hysteric laughter. What the hell was the matter with me? "I quit."

I felt Elena, Rude and Tseng simultaneously stop drinking and stare at me.

"Is that why you've been absent recently? Rufus informed us you were deathly ill." Tseng; you poor, gullible fool. He'd believe the world was a cube if ShinRa told him so. "Reno, why would you-?"

"What the hell is wrong with you, you ungrateful little asshole!?" Being the only woman I shared a relationship with and have not slept with, it was kind of hard to confuse Elena with anyone "ShinRa may be the world's biggest scum-bag, but that man has kept you alive for how long?"

"Yea, other than us and without him, you haven't got much, have you?" Rude, you have no idea how right you are.

Rufus ShinRa was pretty much my whole world, as queer as that sounds. His pay had kept me what most would consider alive, he had given me friends (something I thought I'd never have) which had kept me what most would call sane, he gave me a roof over my head, food on my plate, clothes on my back.. All I'd ever wanted… a stable life.

"I know it was a seriously stupid decision, yo. But seriously guys, you know what it was like there for me, y'know. I hardly ever did my job, 'nless it involved bombs 'n death. Face it, paperwork sucks! I fought with everyone, includin' my boss, 'n that's nothing to be proud of. Everyone hated me, 'cept you guys, not really a happy workplace, y'know? It was just too hard, yo. I had to do what I did."

Rude and Tseng looked at me with pity, while Elena sat upright to embrace my leg tightly.

"You could stay at my place for a while… if you needed to."

"I can call a few people; hook you up with a new job."

"I always have extra cash, if you're desperate."

I felt tears form in my eyes. "You guys are the best friends I've ever had… I love you so much!"

"We're the _only_ friends you've ever had," Elena smiled. "You're so hammered."

"And because of the fact you are undeniably hammered, you are going to bed." Tseng, buddy… I'm _drunk_… don't use big words.

"Yeah man," Rude said quitely. "You've had a rough couple of days." He walked over to me, picking me up in his large arms. He carried me to my bedroom, Tseng and Elena trailing behind, and carefully placed me on my bed. Tseng pulled of the goggles I used to keep the hair off my face, and placed them on the nightstand with care. Elena bent down, tugged my shoes and shirt off and pulled the covers over me. "Sleep, we'll come over after work tomorrow, kay?"

"O.kay…" I yawned and the three walked to the door, tossed me one last, sad look and exited my room, pulling the door closed behind them.

"You think he'll be o.kay?"

"He's been through a lot. I don't know how much more he can take."

I heard their footsteps grow faint; a door click shut then nothing… it was quite… And lonely... So lonely… I was going to be alone the rest of my life… I wouldn't be able to spend any time with the people I love because of that lame excuse for a human being… Work with them was fun, even on the clock… we'd crack jokes, shoot things, laugh at ShinRa behind his back, spend Friday nights on someone's living room floor, wasting and laughing about how much our lives sucked… it was perfect…

Key word: _was_.


	3. Chapter 3

I cried… Everything was wrong… So I cried. My life would go back downhill from here… eventually, I'd run out of money, lose my home and be back where I was twelve years ago… In the slums… In an alley… Living off other peoples scraps… Let's face it; I can't live off my friends forever, so I'd go back to that alley around the corner and spend the rest of my days there, begging for a smoke, get pneumonia and go insane.

Sighing, I sat up and flicked the lamp on; I wasn't going to sleep tonight. Seizing the cigarette packet off my night stand, I pulled one out and lit up. Nothing like nicotine to ease a smoker's pain. Inhaling, I relished the sensation and held my breath, not wanting it to finish. But everyone knows all good things come to an end, so I reluctantly released.

That was fun while it lasted.

I slowly walked out of my bedroom and looked. The place was a mess; beer cans here, there and everywhere, food on plates, the floor and walls, pillows, cushions and various cushy objects strewn about… sighing, I began to clean the apartment. Boring, but it was bound to make me tire, right?

No such luck.

My apartment looked as clean as the day I had gotten it, and I wasn't any closer to the realm of sleep. _Great… _I thought to myself. Staring at my feet, I wondered if it was illegal to clean your home four times before considering drinking again. … Not that I _would_ clean the place again… although… Shrugging, I began to re-organize my small bookshelf for the third thing that night. Alphabetical order, genre, title, author… Yay.

_This is the most thrilling thing I've ever done! _I thought. _Blowing up buildings is no where near as fun as this! Neither is hanging out with my friends… Karaoke with Elena… arm-wrestling with Rude… Staring contests with Tseng… Oh no, this is much more entertaining than my old life… _before I knew it, I was crying again. _Holy Gaia Reno! Get a hold on yourself! _Beating my hands against the wall, I repeated this until the tears stopped falling.

_Mind you, it took a while._

_I have every right to cry! _I thought bitterly_. Life sucks right now, and it aint gonna get better any time soon! _ A brief knock in the direction of the main door pulled me away from my rather depressing train of thought. Standing, I lazily made my way to the door, and let out an aggravated groan when I saw a man in a distinctive white suit standing on the other side.


	4. Chapter 4

"Look what the cat dragged in." I spat, wondering what the hell Rufus ShinRa would be doing on my doorstep… not that I _had_ a step… but you get my point…

He smiled. "You should not be so rude to your guests."

I snorted and began to close the door, but he stuck his hand in the jam and pushed it open. "May I come in?"

"No!" honestly, was he really that stupid?

I can not believe his smug smirk got wider. He said "thank you," and pushed past me, coming to casually lounge on my thrice cleaned armchair, as if he'd done so one hundred times before. Growling, I sat on the large couch opposite him and let myself wallow in pity a little more. _As if my life isn't bad enough, now he shows up on my doorstep! What the hell for?! I don't need this shit right now!_

I let out an exasperated sigh and said, in my politest tone, "What, in the name of all that is holy, are you doing here?"

"Research…" he glanced idly in my direction. "I want to solve a certain puzzle, but it's extremely difficult."

Sighing, or rolling my eyes, or both, I asked "And what puzzle would that be?"

He gaped at me, as if unable to believe I'd asked. "Why, you, of course."

I returned the look. "I aint a bloody puzzle! Im a hu-"

"Fine, you are a riddle."

I scoffed. "I thought I was an enigma, wrapped in a mystery, wrapped in a puzzle."

"You… are…" the silence held for a bit, both of us… thinking. "Reno, why did you quit."

"Told ya; you suck, pay sucks, you suck."

"Reno, we both know that is not the truth. Please, tell me." He rose, moved towards me and sat way too close for comfort. "Reno, did you know I know very little about you, other than the little snippets of information you've told me. You're always so… protected by walls you constantly seem to have up…" he laughed dryly. "Listen to me, I sound like a complete fool.

I smiled. "Yeah, you're a real dick."

We both laughed small, sad awkward laughs, and I handed him a can of my favourite beer, realising it was too expensive to keep stocked. I sighed. "Rufus, what do you really want?"

He sipped the can and sighed. "I want you, Reno. Back on my staff… back in my life…"

I snorted. "Didn't we try me on your staff once before? I believe you sprained something, yo."

He laughed a true laugh. It sounded nice. "True, true. But we both enjoyed it."

"For about four minutes… every day since then has hell for me, y'know?"

He looked at me, truly stunned. "Reno, I had no idea."

"Well, now ya do!" I frowned at him. "Y'know ShinRa, I felt wanted you, and I wanted you to want me. I felt stuff I'd never felt before, y'know?"

"Reno, I-"

"Y'know what? It doesn't matter anymore." I stood abruptly, walking to the door and wrenching it open. Why was he pretending to care? "Just go, Rufus. I don't want anything more to do with you." I nodded towards the door, silently hoping he wouldn't drag this out, making it any more painful that it already was.

His eyes became shadowed as he gracefully stood, letting the half empty can slip from his hands and pool on the floor. Something for me to clean. He walked to me, making no noise. I swear he even stopped breathing. Closing my eyes I pressed myself against the wall, giving as much space as possible. Quite a few seconds passed and I couldn't tell whether or not he'd left, which was pretty bad considering I was a Turk…

Was…

I let myself sigh and suddenly could taste cherries. Cherries and beer. I felt teeth softly bite the tip of my tongue, followed by a nimble tongue gently caressing my upper lip.

Widening my eyes, I pulled back as far as I could, which unfortunately wasn't very much.

"Listen to me Reno. Listen to me well. I am a ShinRa. Because I am a ShinRa I _always_ get what I want… and I _always_ win."

Stunned into a moronic silence, I watched as he licked his lips with a smile and exited my apartment.

_O.kay, so… what just happened?_

"Well, obviously, the most powerful man on the planet just kissed you… probably wanted to bang you here and now too… again… "

_Oh… really? … Why?_

"Well, he's Rufus ShinRa, does he need a reason?"

_Reno, you're talking to yourself._

"…" I let my body go limp and barely felt myself hit the floor… skip losing my house and starving… I was already stark-raving-talks-to-himself-all-day-and-owns-seventeen-cats-crazy.

My pathetic, empty life replayed in my head.

_Born…_

_Abandoned…_

_Saved… _

_Turk…_

_Friends…_

_Rufus…_

Him! It's always him! Why did he have to screw up every single thing he had given me?!

Apparently, crying three times in one night is bad for ones health.

"Screw it… I can't take it anymore…" pulling myself into a general standing position, however my legs weren't doing their jobs properly. Using the wall as a support system, I all but dragged myself to the bedroom, managing to knock two photos off the wall in the process. Yeah, Turks are smooth…

I don't really know how I managed to reach the bed, but, hey! Didn't really matter, now, did it? None of it mattered.

Sighing, I realised I had surpassed my daily quota for sighing, and blindly shoved my hand into a draw. Fumbling around, I withdrew my hand, bringing out a small note-pad, a pen and an "emergency only" semi-automatic.

I smiled through salty tears as I scribbled on the paper.

_Sorry guys, I do love you all._

_I just can't take this anymore._

_My last thoughts were of you._

_And tell Rufus he was right._

_He always wins. _

My eyes were puffy and red as I blindly placed the note and pen on the nightstand and lay contentedly on my little bed. It was all going to end soon.

I stared at my little life-stealing gun, realising this would actually be the first time I fired it.

The first and probably the last. How ironic.

I gently pushed the barrel into my mouth, grimacing only slightly at the foul taste of metal. Inhaling deeply, I chose to enjoy it, for it would be the last thing on this earth I'd know. Exhaling, I said a silent _goodbye and good luck_ to those I loved and pulled the trigger.


	5. Chapter 5

To those who may have read and enjoyed this fic, I am truly grateful, however, I am also about to be the barer of bad news

To those who may have read and enjoyed this fic, I am truly grateful, however, I am also about to be the barer of bad news.

The fourth chapter was the end, sorry and sad to say. I kinda hoped that would be obvious when Reno died ; guess im not that great at writing yet. Also, I'm not a fan of stories that drag on endlessly. Despite the fact I love reading them, I can not write them, so there technically won't be a chapter five…

Sorry to those who were hopeful.

Love

First-Class-SOLDIER


End file.
